The Princess Complex

I have been thinking back on my high school and college days a lot recently. What an amazing time in my life. I was so privileged to have awesome experiences in California and Kansas. I met amazing people, I traveled all over the country, I spent finals week at the beach with dear friends... Unfortunately, I spent many hours during those years being sad about not dating, worrying about getting married...actually worrying about being alone. Don't get me wrong, I have amazing memories, but I really lacked the faith to believe that God was going to bring me a husband.

A great friend of mine told me today that she wished she had some "do-overs," and that some of those would be not to waste so much time worrying about finding a man. I guess I have been thinking about this because I have three beautiful little girls that I don't want making the same mistakes. I feel that we are programmed from a young age that all that life has to offer is a dashing young prince, riding in on his chestnut mare, singing brilliantly, awaking you from your dreamless sleep only to carry you away to his castle...let's not forget that your hair, makeup, and body are perfect, and you are wearing a designer pink gown encrusted with diamonds, real ones, not Swarovski. While this fantasy is enchanting and fun for a time, it causes a dilemma when things don't work out the way they are imagined. The princess complex, at least that is what I like to call it, gives girls a false sense of entitlement, and doesn't demand a focus on developing inner strength and beauty. I want my daughters to really develop themselves, and become amazing, Christian women. I certainly want them to find the man of their dreams, rather God's design. I want them to have the honor of becoming a mother, and the joy of having a family and making a home. However, I want to teach them not to pine away years of their lives, chasing after boys, shaving pieces off of their tender hearts because they are afraid of being alone. I was so afraid of being alone that I worried about it constantly. I want my daughters to be excited about meeting their spouse, but I want them to have peace and let God develop them into beautiful, strong, Christian women. I want them to value themselves for who God made them to be, and have a relationship with Jesus and only Jesus before they find "the one." I am getting ahead of myself here...I have years, but how do I foster this "let go, and let God," thing? I don't want this only in dating and marriage, but in all aspects of life.

"They" say to lead by example, and I can tell you that I have plenty of areas where I need to heed my own advice and give it to the Lord. One example that comes to mind is becoming a home owner. It has always been a dream of mine, second only to being a wife and mother, to have my own home...to fix it up,to have dinner parties in a magical back yard full of twinkling white lights with the sounds of Ella and Frank permeating the night air. I want my home to be my masterpiece, my haven. There are times when I lay awake at night trying to construct an ingenious financial plan in my head to accomplish MY goal...and that is exactly what it is. I am not saying that its wrong to have a plan, to have a goal...these things are wonderful...but when we start devising our own way to get what WE want instead of really seeking what God wants, and how HE wants it to come about..that's when it becomes dangerous. Just like I should have put my trust in God to bring HIS man into my life at exactly the time He wanted him there, and through the exact circumstances that he designed, I should be looking to Him for this as well. God is faithful. He gave me a great husband, whom I love, and appreciate. He entrusted me with three beautiful girls, and the responsibilty of training them, to me...in His time. He owns it all, He can do whatever He wants to do. I want my plan to be HIS plan..I pray that He will show me what He wants from me, that I will be willing take the steps He reveals to me...and the rest is in His hands...literally. When we lay our dreams at the foot of the cross, our burdens become His prerogative, and our souls can rest safely in his care.