The Princess Complex

I have been thinking back on my high school and college days a lot recently. What an amazing time in my life. I was so privileged to have awesome experiences in California and Kansas. I met amazing people, I traveled all over the country, I spent finals week at the beach with dear friends... Unfortunately, I spent many hours during those years being sad about not dating, worrying about getting married...actually worrying about being alone. Don't get me wrong, I have amazing memories, but I really lacked the faith to believe that God was going to bring me a husband.

A great friend of mine told me today that she wished she had some "do-overs," and that some of those would be not to waste so much time worrying about finding a man. I guess I have been thinking about this because I have three beautiful little girls that I don't want making the same mistakes. I feel that we are programmed from a young age that all that life has to offer is a dashing young prince, riding in on his chestnut mare, singing brilliantly, awaking you from your dreamless sleep only to carry you away to his castle...let's not forget that your hair, makeup, and body are perfect, and you are wearing a designer pink gown encrusted with diamonds, real ones, not Swarovski. While this fantasy is enchanting and fun for a time, it causes a dilemma when things don't work out the way they are imagined. The princess complex, at least that is what I like to call it, gives girls a false sense of entitlement, and doesn't demand a focus on developing inner strength and beauty. I want my daughters to really develop themselves, and become amazing, Christian women. I certainly want them to find the man of their dreams, rather God's design. I want them to have the honor of becoming a mother, and the joy of having a family and making a home. However, I want to teach them not to pine away years of their lives, chasing after boys, shaving pieces off of their tender hearts because they are afraid of being alone. I was so afraid of being alone that I worried about it constantly. I want my daughters to be excited about meeting their spouse, but I want them to have peace and let God develop them into beautiful, strong, Christian women. I want them to value themselves for who God made them to be, and have a relationship with Jesus and only Jesus before they find "the one." I am getting ahead of myself here...I have years, but how do I foster this "let go, and let God," thing? I don't want this only in dating and marriage, but in all aspects of life.

"They" say to lead by example, and I can tell you that I have plenty of areas where I need to heed my own advice and give it to the Lord. One example that comes to mind is becoming a home owner. It has always been a dream of mine, second only to being a wife and mother, to have my own home...to fix it up,to have dinner parties in a magical back yard full of twinkling white lights with the sounds of Ella and Frank permeating the night air. I want my home to be my masterpiece, my haven. There are times when I lay awake at night trying to construct an ingenious financial plan in my head to accomplish MY goal...and that is exactly what it is. I am not saying that its wrong to have a plan, to have a goal...these things are wonderful...but when we start devising our own way to get what WE want instead of really seeking what God wants, and how HE wants it to come about..that's when it becomes dangerous. Just like I should have put my trust in God to bring HIS man into my life at exactly the time He wanted him there, and through the exact circumstances that he designed, I should be looking to Him for this as well. God is faithful. He gave me a great husband, whom I love, and appreciate. He entrusted me with three beautiful girls, and the responsibilty of training them, to me...in His time. He owns it all, He can do whatever He wants to do. I want my plan to be HIS plan..I pray that He will show me what He wants from me, that I will be willing take the steps He reveals to me...and the rest is in His hands...literally. When we lay our dreams at the foot of the cross, our burdens become His prerogative, and our souls can rest safely in his care.

Free from Organization?

What does it mean, practically speaking, to serve God with your whole being? I know I'm not alone in thinking, most of the time, that we can keep certain parts of us...to ourselves. Compartmentalizing is such a natural human response to life. In fact, I have friends who could put my entire life into neat little boxes and bins with a shiny label on the front! I missed the train when it comes to organization, yet I still section off parts of me...sacred...hidden...left unchanged.
How do we,as Christians, open up all of those shiny, neatly stuffed boxes full of whatever we are trying to hide from God, or humanity? The sin, the failure, the fear, the insecurity, whatever the contents of those boxes they need to be emptied...let into the light...confessed to Christ so that we can experience the freedom that He alone can offer. What would it be like if we were totally exposed in Christ, washed clean in His love, with nothing left hidden under lock and key in the filing cabinets of our souls?

True freedom. Undeserved. Graciously given.

When we find freedom in Him, it is then we can serve Him with heart, mind, and Soul...our whole being.

Love Him Like Jesus

It was the start of a normal day today...we got up and the rush began, as usual. Trying to get three...make that four people dressed every morning with the hair done (and a bow neatly in place for at least the first few hours of school) is quite a challenge. Its a challenge that I enjoy..but a challenge just the same. I dropped my daughter of at school with the same heartfelt advice that I share everyday,"be good, and have a great day...I love you!" I decided that I would treat myself, so I drove a few miles to the nearest Starbucks for a vanilla latte (yes, I ordered skinny). On my way there I decided to listen to Casting Crowns. The words of a particular song really struck a chord with me today. It was talking about the grief that people experience with the loss of a spouse, or child, and how there are so many questions...and our response as Christians is to love them like Jesus. As the tears welled, I really began to ponder what it means to love someone like Jesus. What does that mean? Does it mean that we not only give money to the homeless, but we take them into our homes? Does it mean that we sit and eat a meal with them instead of giving them a hamburger and a Coke and driving away, our guilt appeased for a moment?
On a more practical note, what does it mean to love our spouses like Jesus. I was really thinking about this today...for me I believe it means to serve him without the expectation of being served. For those of you who know me, you know that is impossible...impossible without the Holy Spirit, that is. I want to love my husband like Jesus has loved me. I want to serve him with abandon, to be patient, kind, understanding, and supportive. For me this doesn't mean losing my identity as a woman, it means gaining a new identity in Christ. What a challenge God has placed before me today...one that I'm sure I will be working on until my hair turns white, or completely falls out..but I want to be the woman that God has made me to be, and with His power (the power that raised Christ from the dead, no less) I can accomplish all that he has set before me, and believe me girls, that same power is what its going to take! :)

Pinkalicious

Today was the day that I went to my oldest daughter, Emeryn's, class to talk about my job...being a stay at home mom! I decided to put together a little presentation about all of the different jobs moms do...I brought band-aids because sometimes I am a nurse...a rolling pin, because sometimes I am a baker...a hairbrush because with three girls, I am obviously a hairdresser...a needle and thread because I am definitely a seamstress...anyway, I shared with the class that my favorite part of being a mom is having the time to read to my girls. I brought Emmy and Jaidyn's new book, Pinkalicious, and read it to the class...and I served them pink cupcakes with pink frosting. If you have read the book, you understand! Anyway, the class loved it, and we had a great time! Preparing for my "lecture" (such a lofty term for a talk with Kindergarten and First graders), I really started thinking about all the things that we, as moms, have the privilege of doing. At times driving to every event, and baking for all the class parties can seem overwhelming to me...exhausting, but I really want to focus on the awesome gift it is to have these three little ones to raise. God has given me the most precious thing in my girls! He has put these wonderful creatures in my hand..for just a while...to mold and shape, care for, love, play with, drive, nurse, teach, guide...the list is endless. I am so thankful that he has chosen to entrust these three, in particular, to me. I always thought it funny that the Lord gave my husband and me a family of girls! It is not what I had planned, and definitely not what my husband thought of when he dreamed of his life! However, we are enjoying every moment, cherishing every laugh...hoping that God will use us to raise our girls to be Godly women who love Him with all their hearts, and to love each other. We pray that God will give us all the love, the patience, and the courage to raise our girls the way He wants us to!

The BEST Chocolate Chip Cookies EVER!!!

Ok everyone...this is seriously the BEST chocolate chip cookie recipe I have ever had...and unfortunately I have had a lot. It was given to me by my dear friend, Trudy....try it, you won't be sorry!

Trudy’s Chocolate Chip Cookies
4 1/2 cups all-purpose flour
2 teaspoons baking soda
2 cups butter, softened
1 1/2 cups packed brown sugar
1/2 cup white sugar
2 (3.4 ounce) packages instant vanilla pudding mix
4 eggs
2 teaspoons vanilla extract
4 cups semisweet chocolate chips
2 cups chopped walnuts (optional)
DIRECTIONS
1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees F (175 degrees C). Sift together the flour and baking soda, set aside.
2. In a large bowl, cream together the butter, brown sugar, and white sugar. Beat in the instant pudding mix until blended. Stir in the eggs and vanilla. Blend in the flour mixture. Finally, stir in the chocolate chips and nuts. Drop cookies by rounded spoonfuls onto ungreased cookie sheets.
3. Bake for 10 to 12 minutes in the preheated oven. Edges should be golden brown

New Fruit

Well, to be honest my favorite part of the year is gone now. The final Fall leaf has fallen, and the Christmas Decorations are down...well mostly (give me a break, I have three children...lol). I love the Fall...everything about it makes me happy. The start of a new school year, school supplies all shiny and new, the warm colors...orange, brown, gold, and deep red...the scent of cinnamon and nutmeg coming from the kitchen...its all so inviting. It makes me long to be at home, curled up with my favorite blanket, drinking a steaming cup of coffee (mostly creamer,of course), reading a good book. This past Fall was an especially wonderful season living in the country. It was incredible to gaze on God's creation without having to go anywhere. The leaves on the vines were perfect, I even saved the first crimson beauty in the pages of one of my cherished cookbooks.
I usually don't look forward to the new year, the crispness of January, the resolutions that I usually fail within the first few days of making them...but this year is different. I am looking forward to the fresh start. I am inspired to be more organized, to take some time to better myself spiritually and physically, and to be more like Christ. The vines out my kitchen window are perfectly pruned, lined up, positioned to begin producing the fruit they are created to produce. I want to be the same way. I want the old, dead parts of me to be pruned (gently please, Lord), and I want to be in the position for God to grow new fruit in me. Just like the vines, I want to be open, bare before the Lord, ready for Him to prune away all the clutter that keeps me from being who He wants me to be. I know there are so many things that God needs to change in me, and I know that He is the only one able to do it. I just want to be willing for Him to do in me what he needs to to produce kindness, gentleness, faithfulness, self control...

Psalm 139:23-24
23 Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.

Introductions

So...I've been inspired by a few friends to start a blog...I like to think of it more as a journal, of my journey with my husband and three little girls. Life in the Vine has a double meaning. First, I am doing my best to live in The Vine...walking with Jesus. I'm not perfect, not even close, but I am trying to live for Him, in Him...and teach my girls to do the same. Secondly, we live on a vineyard. It's amazing. It's peace. It's love at first sight...! We are so blessed to have friends that have given us the opportunity to share in this incredible experience. My home is very modest, but my view is breathtaking. God is so good. I am so thankful. So...here it goes...Life in the Vine...